In case you hadn't noticed, I'm obsessive. One of my mysterious compulsions is, ridiculously, counting, and that's despite my being a bit numerically challenged.
These days, I count in German, while I'm running a tap, watering a plant. I can't even wait at traffic lights or for a train to pass at a level crossing without counting: eins, zwei, drei... You get it. At the lights I rarely get beyond vierzig - forty. Could go a lot faster in English but I whisper the words in German to develop my accent. See I have to move my lips, so it's a bit slower. (Don't suppose I look any stranger than people 'talking to themselves' hands-free on their mobile phones.) My 'theory' is that the lights won't change, the train won't pass, unless I count. (Hello. I know.) Recently, to distract myself from counting while we were waiting to cross at busy Bell Street, I shared my theory with husband, Al. He generously explained the logic of the lights changing because they're on a timer. You'd think he'd know me by now. I've certainly got his number.
I also count squats; the exercise kind. Fifty five seems to be my upper limit. And sit-ups on a Swiss ball. Ten. Not many because I've just reintroduced them and I'm in damage control. Wouldn't want to pull a muscle.
Don't get me started on counting AFDs - Alcohol Free Days, for those who don't drink. (Lucky you with your self-control and non-addictive personality type.) I even wrote a list of my AFDs in my journal at the start of this year, not for the first time. Bit of a New Year's resolution. Managed seven non-consecutive days. Stopped counting on January 19. Why beat yourself up?
Suppose that's why I decided to motivate myself with a new counting opportunity: an app; a diet tracker, because clearly that's what I really needed. So I downloaded the app, shared my age, gender, height and weight with another algorithm, or however it works. Skipped the steps where you log in through Twitter, Google or Facebook, to protect my privacy, which is evidently so important to me. After I'd entered all my personal stats the app gleefully calculated that I should aim for a target weight 20 to 40 kilograms less than my current weight. Gulp. But hey, it was a chance to count kilojoules, possibly in German.
I entered my breakfast 'data'. Now I shit you not, on that day this comprised 1 x Vita Brit biscuit + 200 ml of 'lite' soy 'milk'. Breakfast isn't where I overdo the ks but who's counting? Me apparently.
I entered my exercise targets but seemed the app wouldn't let me record these without first downloading another 'free' app that could push advertisements at me. While considering whether I wanted to do that I drank a glass of water, 250 ml, and opened the app so I could click on one of the eight droplet icons that indicated that I was meeting my eight glasses a day target.
I was starting to hyperventilate thinking about it all so I clicked on another icon. The one that makes the app go all wobbly before I hit the x and made it disappear.
I still count at traffic lights. Old habits. The upside was my ease with numbers on a recent trip to Germany.
